Sincere Milk

IRL: Early morning naps... at least for one of us!

As any mom will tell you, babies take up a lot of your time. You can rarely do things for yourself  when you actually want to do them. This statement is especially true if you are nursing your baby yourself.

• You can't eat dinner with your family if the baby needs to be fed.
• You can'y go to the bathroom if the baby needs to be fed.
• You can't cook meals if the baby needs to be fed.
• You can't finish folding the laundry if the baby needs to be fed.
• And you definitely cannot sleep at nighttime if the baby needs to be fed.

On the one hand, this constant feeding process has brought to light how selfish I can be. I whine because I can't get all the normal things done during the day because I have to feed someone every 2 hours (30+ minutes of which are gone because of feeding, burping, and changing). I grumble and complain because I'm starving and just for once I wish someone else could feed the baby so I can eat when everyone else is eating.

There's a great Christ-like, sacrificial attitude, huh?

I also get mad because my son has a milk protein sensitivity meaning I can no longer consume dairy products or beef without his having major digestive issues. I'll tell ya, not eating cheese feels like a monumental sacrifice some days!

I have been tempted SO MANY TIMES, out of convenience to myself, to switch to formula. Yes, that synthetic substitute would've been in my house long ago were it not for the overwhelming cost of formula and the major benefits of breast milk.

Some days, it's only because of the cost.

Before proceeding, please allow me to point out that this post is certainly NOT an attempt to open up a debate about breastfeeding. Don't get side-tracked here, folks. Just stick with the ANALOGY.

To put this milk thing into a spiritual context, let's first consider 1 Peter 2:2:

"As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby."

Seems simple enough. Read your Bible, right? But there is so much more meaning in this passage. To discover the greater meaning here (and the meaning that really stood out to me in my devotional time this morning), let's get the context...

Read 1 Peter 1:18-2:3.

I don't find it coincidental that after we are instructed to "[love] one another with a pure heart, fervently" (v. 22), we are also admonished to "[lay] aside all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings" (v. 1) and to "desire" and "grow" in the word of God.

Verses 23-25 give more detail about why our priorities should be for the word of God, don't they?

1. The word of God "lives," "abides," and "[endures] for ever." FOREVER!
2. By comparison, how long do these verses say that the "flesh" and "glory of man" lasts? (Hint: NOT LONG!)

Therefore, what should preachers and spiritually mature Christians be feeding to newborn baby Christians (and everyone else, for that matter)? I know the answer seems simple (i.e. the word of God), but I am so discouraged by today's Christian culture in America.

We do ourselves, other Christians, and the lost world we are trying to reach a HUGE disservice because we try to give them synthetic food instead of the real stuff. We try to feed them Christian maxims, Christian-isms, Christian books, Christian slogans, Christian t-shirts, Christian bumper stickers, "happy thoughts," and the like instead of feeding them the things we've gleaned from the actual word of God.

Most Christians seem to go way out of their way to do this. They'll only attend church if they don't have to teach, or they'll only teach if the church provides a curriculum. They'll pay big bucks for special Christian conferences and retreats, or willingly drive across town to hit up their local Christian bookstore for supplies. Their lives scream: "We will do anything to not have to study for ourselves!"

Honestly, how many of us are comfortable simply picking up our Bibles and letting the Holy Spirit teach us His word? How many of us would rather just pick up a devotional or "bible study" written by someone else?

Why? Because it's easier. It requires less time, less thought, less energy.

But just like formula feeding, there is a major cost, my friend.

Back to my analogy for a minute: 

>>One of the benefits of breastmilk is that it is easier to digest--so much so that breastfed babies' poops don't smell as bad as formula fed babies' poops (no lie). Breastmilk is the perfect food for babies; there's no additives, preservatives, or extra stuff that can't be digested. 

In the same way, God's Word is so much easier to digest. You don't have to weed through someone else's misgivings and untruths to get to God's truth. You are going straight to the source. You're not relying on someone else to do your homework for you; you're not relying on someone's answers that could be wrong!

If you are too busy to study the Bible for yourself, you are too busy. If you think you have to have someone else chewing up the word into little pieces for you to swallow (for whatever reason), you're wrong.

You don't need to have a degree in order to study God's Word for yourself. You need the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of you--that's it!

I know that I have talked about this subject before, but I don't think I can emphasize enough how important it is for you to study your Bible without the aid of the latest Christian speaker or Bible Study author.

If you want some tips on how to have success with this type of REAL study, please read this post: Gifting This Week: A Deep Clean Inside & Out.

Stop drinking formula and get hooked on the real stuff!

Much love,
~Mrs. D.

P.S. I recently purchased this vinyl wall decal to remind myself to have a better attitude: Psalms 118:24.

A Parenting Note: The First Few Weeks

Almost 6 weeks ago now (has it really been that long?!), we finally got to meet our son in person. 31 hours after my water broke, his tiny flailing body (complete with wide-open eyes and a crying mouth) was placed into my arms.

And it was SO worth every minute of pain, uncertainty, and downright deliriousness (primarily from a lack of sleep and food) for that one incredible moment.

The amazing moments with our son continue each day, too. From the first time he held up his head to the way he now follows me across the room with his eyes and turns his head to talk to me. What a precious, wonderful (AMAZING, AWESOME, ASTOUNDING, OUTSTANDING etc.) gift from Above.

If nothing else, please allow me to say that if you are married and able to have kids, you should. Period. There is nothing like it in this whole world.

Sure, my home is no longer spotless (if it ever really was) and my body may never be quite the same (kangaroo pouch, I'm looking at you!). Even as I started typing this post today, I noticed poop on my sleeve from this morning's diaper blow out.

Whatever! It's only a little poop...

These trivial frustrations dissolve when compared to the enormity of this tiny person's physical and spiritual care being placed in our charge.

Truly, a learning curve exists when it comes to having your first kid (nursing, diapers, schedules, etc.). But what has become more evident to me in the last week or so (as the initial fog has worn off) are the amazing spiritual pictures God paints for us through parenting.

As I have the time, I hope to share some of what He's shown me through my new role as a mom. For now, though, I hope you are all well and enjoying your summer. We are enjoying it here at The Shore.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
<3 Mrs. D.

My Inadequacy

In March, Red Beard and I will be taking a birthing class to prepare for our son's arrival in a little over 2 months. For some reason, in the last several days, the timeline of events has hit me like a ton of bricks:

I feel so UN-prepared and IN-adequate for what lies ahead!! 

The thoughts that have crept into my mind include, but are not limited to:

• We still need a baby dresser. 
• We still have to find (and afford) a vehicle that all three of us can fit in.
• I'm not good mother material.
• How am I going to organize all our stuff in a 1 bedroom apartment?
• I don't want to add to my kid's issues because of my own set of issues.
• Can I really do this?

I like being prepared and organized. I like having the answers to my questions, the solutions to my problems. And right now, there are so many aspects of this "having a kid" thing that are un-answered, un-solved, un-prepared, and un-organized.

This morning, however, I found great comfort in God's Word. 

First, I read from Proverbs 24 (since today is the 24th):

"Through wisdom is a house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches." -Proverbs 24:3-4

Then, God, in His wisdom, reminded me of another passage:

"Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep." -Psalms 127:1-2

Yes, we have needs and inadequacies. But if we could do it all on our own, why would we need God? Our needs, our inadequacies should point us to the strength and wisdom of our LORD. He has to be the one to do it, or else our homes will be built on vanity; they would be built on sand and not on the Solid Rock (cf. Matthew 7:24-27).

Do I have any idea how everything is going to get done before the baby arrives or how it will all be paid or provided for? Nope.

Do I have the answers to every parenting problem that will come about? Nope.

And you know what? That's okay. Yes, I can and will be searching God's Word for answers and will (hopefully) be remembering to pray for God's guidance. But I don't have to have all the answers right now.

Red Beard and I need to take this situation one day at a time, one step at a time, relying on God's wisdom to build our home.

What are you building your home on? Your own inadequacy or on the Lord? ~Mrs. D.

The Pregnancy "Encouragement" I Could Do Without

Red Beard and I are both pretty worn out by everything that's been going on. This week, I'm entering the last week of the 2nd Trimester--can you believe it? I can't!

I got a free Huggies diaper and wipes in the mail the other day, from an offer on Hip2Save.com, and I couldn't get over how tiny the diaper was!

Btw the footstool belongs to a glider that my MIL bought for us. It's more green than yellow, even if the green isn't really showing up in this photo. Red Beard and I picked it out on Amazon. I love it!

Little Man really will be here before long. My wardrobe is constantly shrinking because my stomach is constantly growing. I'm working hard to make sure that's the only part of me that's growing, too. Not easy!

Some days I am just plain exhausted trying to keep up with everything. Normal tasks, plus baby registries, people hounding me about having a baby shower (which I don't want, but that's another long story), making sure we have enough storage in our 1 bedroom apartment for baby stuff,  doctor appointments, modifying clothes so I can still wear them, etc. etc.

You know how it goes. It's exciting, but there is a lot that has to get done.

And lately, I've been even more tired out by people's commentary about parenthood. It usually comes in conversational form like this:

To me: "How is mommy feeling?"
Me: "Pretty tired today. But good overall."
To me: {chuckle} "Better get used to being tired! You're going to be tired to rest of your life!"

I hear it constantly. And it drives me absolutely bonkers.

This is hardly encouraging to a new mother. Why can't I just answer you honestly about how I'm feeling without this "joke"/"encouragement"? Instead, I feel forced to tell you "I'm fine" even if I'm not so I don't have to hear your comments. And maybe I'm tired because I had a busy weekend. Or maybe I'm tired because I didn't get much sleep.

Truly, though, there are many statements, like the "get used to being tired" comment (proceeded/ followed by a condescending chuckle), that I could do without hearing for the rest of my life.

Other Examples:
"Say good-bye to showers."
"Say good-bye to movie theaters."
"Say good-bye to dates."
"Say good-bye to privacy."
"Say good-bye to freedom."

Part of me wants to ask these people why on earth they became parents if they weren't willing to give up on or compromise on some of these things.

• Is it that difficult to take a shower in the evening when your husband is home and can watch the baby?
• Is going to the movie theater really that big of a priority? Get a life! 
• Is it really a giant inconvenience to have to take your child with you to a restaraunt, especially when he or she is still in a car-seat and will probably sleep through it?
• Is freedom really that important to you that you have to make your kid sound like (or feel like) a ball and chain?

One thing I truly appreciate about my mom is the fact that she never made us feel like we were keeping her from something. She made ridiculous sacrifices (sometimes probably more than necessary), but she did not guilt us about that ever. She never got together with other moms to complain about how hard it was to raise kids.

We always knew we were wanted. She did not make us feel like a burden.

I have no doubt that it will be a major adjustment once Little Man is finally here, especially the first few weeks. But even more so, I have no doubt that it will be completely worth every minute. I can't wait to take Little Man to the beach this summer, camping this fall, watch him discover the world, watch what God's going to do with his precious little life, etc.

The part about these comments that aggravates me the most is that they come primarily from Christians. Wouldn't it be better to say something like this to a new expectant mother...

"Some days will be really difficult, but remember to ask for God's help and guidance. Let Him carry you through the difficult days."

Do we not believe that God's power can and will get us through hard times (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)? Children are a precious, precious gift from God (Psalms 127:3, John 16:21), not a ball and chain.

In moments like this, I think about families like the Duggars. If any parents had "reason" to complain about children being a burden, it's the Duggars. 19 kids is a lot. But you know what is absent in their books and shows? A complaining spirit. And that speaks volumes about what God can carry us through.

A Few Take-Away Points: 

• Think before you speak. If you're given to complaining or griping or, well, not encouraging someone, keep it to yourself. 
• If you have a complaining spirit, pray about it because that is not a Christ-honoring mind-set. 
• If you feel compelled to complain in order to have camaraderie with someone, don't hang around that person (or group). 
• Pray for the complainers around you (yes, that's the step I need to take).

I'm not the girl who wants to get together with friends to gripe about my husband and kid. I'd rather sit at home with my husband and kid and enjoy them, in spite of difficult days.

Ladies (and gents), it's time we started truly encouraging each other instead of using each other as sounding boards for our complaints. We need to take our burdens to the place they actually belong... the foot of the cross.

Until next time, Mrs. D.

Things I've Loved About January

Truly, the post-Christmas season has proven to be even more busy than the Christmas season this year. Red Beard and I have each had family in town, he's worked longer hours, we've attended infant safety and CPR classes, and we've had a few surprise changes in our life (ex: our pastor left our church).

But among the zaniness, the craziness, the general ridiculousness involved in many of these circumstances, there have been some things that I, for one, am personally grateful for. You'll probably notice a few common themes here...

1. Being More Mindful About Our Health

In my last post (yep, like 3 weeks ago), I explained that Red Beard and I are making some changes in our eating. We haven't stuck to the plan 100%, but we have made some definite improvements. For example, Red Beard has been super sick this week with a sinus infection. We're talking 3 days off from work sick (and that has NEVER happened since we've been married).

Yesterday he wanted soup, and I offered to make a vegetable soup, to which, surprisingly, he agreed. I made, with a few minor substitutions, the Many-Veggie Vegetable Soup from Love and Lemons. It is hands down THE best vegetable soup I've ever had. Even better than that, I love the fact that those much-needed vitamins from all those veggies are getting into Red Beard's healing body.

Eating cleaner just makes you feel better.

I've also noticed a huge difference with all the strength training and toning I've been doing. My legs and arms are getting leaner and stronger.

His & Hers... Guess which ones are mine? lol.

My top two workouts for lower-body toning while pregnant?

• The Ballet Baby Inner Thigh Workout from Ballet Beautiful. (It's worth the $8.) As with any Ballet Beautiful workout I've done, if you're not in pain, you're not doing the exercises properly!
• The Leg and Butt Workout, Prenatal Fitness from POPSugar Fitness. (Free.) When I first previewed this workout, I thought it would be lame. But here in the end of my 2nd trimester, it's been great.

I rotate between these two, completing each 2-3 times a week, in addition to arm weights, Swan Arms (also Ballet Beautiful), walking, and some outer thigh exercises.

2. Bringing Up Bebe, by Pamela Druckerman

We're not big on parenting books. They tend to be a bit... lop-sided. Unbalanced. Even many Christian parenting books are not good. Or in keeping with Scripture (which is disturbing). Of course, this could get me on a tangent about how angry Christian book stores make me, but I won't go there today.

This book, though not penned by a Christian author, is completely different. It's written like a novel, but it presents well-researched information about why French kids behave so well. I plan to give a copy to each of my closest friends that gets pregnant in the future. (No joke!) 

It's witty, it's thought-provoking, at times a bit racy, and I don't agree with every French parenting notion, but it is well worth the read for soon-to-be mothers or mothers of young kids. Highly recommend it!

3. Frenchpod101.com

Bonjour! Salut! Yours truly is learning French. 

Why? Because we want Baby Boy to be bilingual. If you're interested in learning French, and you are an absolute beginner, I definitely recommend this resource. Many things on the site are free, including a trial of Premium Membership. We are still deciding whether or not to become FT Premium Members and pay the monthly fee (hey--we're saving money for a car), but if you want a fast way to learn French, my friends... this is it!

4. Lindsey Vonn: The Climb

This documentary (that we watched online on one of Red Beard's recent sick days) was super inspiring to me. It shows the come-back of a world-class down-hill skier after 2 major knee surgeries in just 2 years. 

I love the fact that she didn't give up. She chose not to be a victim of her circumstances, but rise above it by working hard. If you want workout motivation, this is it! 

5. Baby Books

I can't wait to read to our little boy! My mom bought us Goodnight Moon. And, in keeping with the French theme, we got Baby Boy a bilingual board book. 

The books are so cute that I couldn't resist displaying them around the apartment.

6. Tea Kettle and Tea Cups

Red Beard got these for me for Christmas. The kettle, a Wolfgang Puck model, is a much sleeker and more efficient model than our old Walmart special. The cups are authentic oriental tea cups. As in it took about 6 weeks for them to arrive! I love the design he chose. :)

I hope your January has been less hectic than ours has! But even if it's been nuttier than ours, I pray you've been able to find some things to be grateful for in the new year. ~Mrs. D.

The 12 Dates of Christmas

I originally thought the title of this post sounded like the title for a Hallmark movie. With a quick google search, I discovered that it is the title of a movie, only it's produced by ABC Family.

Rest assured, this post has nothing to do with Mark Paul Gosselaar (no matter how much I may have loved Saved By the Bell as a pre-teen) or with any sort of re-living our days, sort of Ground-Hog Day type of plot.

I just wanted to share with you what Red Beard and I will be up to this Christmas.

The Low-Down: Since I'm into my second trimester, and Lord-willing this is the last Christmas before Red Beard and I have a kid, we decided to make this season extra fun for the two of us. Usually we are both swamped with work, but this year I am taking full advantage of my homemaker status by planning 12 dates for us during the Christmas season.

As you probably know from last year's post (Do You Have a "Third World Romance?"), Red Beard and I don't really have that much money for traditional American dating. (Read: "Restaurant and movie theater visits are rare.")

These 12 dates will be no different; they will surround activities that are either free, cheap, or are already in the budget (like getting a Christmas tree).

I can't tell you all of them right off because several of them are a surprise to Red Beard (per his request). Don't worry: He knows about the Christmas tree one already. ;)

Anyway, the goal in all this is to have fun together--whether serving or or shopping or eating or just hanging out. Some years it seems like the entire Christmas season just slips by because we can barely keep our heads above the water.

Last year I set up games and books and they were never even touched...

I think Christmas should be more relaxing than that. And hopefully, this year it will be.

Make some time for your loved ones this Christmas season. ~Mrs. D.

A God-Honoring Pregnancy

When I first became pregnant, one of my greatest concerns was the effect my attitude would have on Red Beard and whoever else I might come into contact with. I've been around so many unpleasant pregnant women, and I was (and am still) determined not to become one of them.

In a certain sense, pregnancy is no different than any other situation in which your body is under stress. Why would I say that? Think about it...

• If I'm having a terrible day, I'm not supposed to sin.  
• If I'm not feeling good because I have the flu, I'm not supposed to sin.
• If I'm pregnant, I'm not supposed to sin.

Worry, fear, pouting, pity parties, bad attitudes, temper tantrums, demands, selfishness, and the like are all sinful. They are not acceptable behaviors. Period.

Pregnancy is not a "sin without consequences" pass.

Saltines= this pregnant girl's best friend for warding off nausea. :)

When our hormones run high and our bodies are constantly changing (and making us sick), it's easy to let things like our attitudes and desires run their natural courses--without any sort of intervention on our part.

But we are called to a higher standard.

Ephesian 4:26 says, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sin go down upon your wrath." It doesn't say we can't have emotions or feel a certain way; however, the way we feel is not supposed to cause us to sin.

We should always keep ourselves in check.

That is something my parents always encouraged in my brothers and me when I was growing up: self-reflection. We need to take time (daily, sometimes moment-to-moment in delicate situations) to evaluate ourselves objectively--not just as we want to see ourselves. The way to do that is through prayer and through meditation of God's Word.

1. Prayer: We need to ask God to point out our faults, especially our blind spots. Allow Him to bring to your heart and mind the ways in which you haven't measured up to His standard (="Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which in heaven is perfect." Mt. 5:48). If you've been born into God's family, if the Spirit lives inside your heart, you need to heed His voice--not your own.
2. Meditation of God's Word: Another way to find your blind spots is through daily reading and applying God's Word to your life. When you read a Bible verse, try not to just skim through it without personal reflection or don't think "this verse is about something irrelevant to me." If you fail to see what a certain passage is saying, ask God to reveal it to you. We can always glean insight through a daily intake of God's Word.

Pregnant or not, we need to be careful to deal with sins (see 1 Jn. 1:9) as we commit them. We need to not let "any root of bitterness spring up . . . and thereby many be defiled" (Heb. 12:15). 

I know--boy, do I know--how difficult it is to let emotions run our actions. But consider Hebrews 4:15:

"For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin."

Christ knows our pain. He was taunted and mocked when He was dying for the sin of the entire world on the cross. Yet, He did not sin.

He is our example. And He is our help, as it says in the very next verse (v. 16):

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

Summary: If you don't now whether you've messed up, ask God (pray). If you've messed up, ask forgiveness (pray). If you want to not mess up anymore, ask (pray). 

I'm so grateful God doesn't demand perfection without giving us a way to access His power and strength. 

I pray that I would remember that I have access to it (and that you would remember you do, too).

--Mrs. D.

Is It Really November?

Yes, I have been MIA for a while now. October brought many surprises to our household--like a visit from out-of-town family (hooray for nephews and nieces) and the Royals making the World Series (still proud of 'em!). Here's what's left of our World Series pumpkin from this year:

Yes, we're moving soon (hence, the boxes and brown paper in the background).

Among many other surprises (like, "hey--we finally get a new bed!"), we got to give friends and family a surprise of our own, summed up in the following picture:

No gag. It's true. Lord willing, we are expecting our first child in the spring of 2015!

Needless to say, I haven't felt 100% for several weeks. I'm hoping that will improve as I am now approaching my second trimester.

(And no, we don't know the gender yet. That appointment will be sometime around Christmas. We can hardly wait to find out!)

That first ultrasound--also in October--was an incredible experience. Part of me couldn't believe a baby actually appeared in the screen. Tears welled up in my eyes (which is not a normal occurrence for me) when the doctor pointed out our baby's little tiny heart beat. You can actually see it beating on the screen! How crazy and amazing is that?

My SIL made this to hold our ultrasound picture, and I love it:

It's probably difficult to tell from this picture, but it's made out of a 1x6 that's about a foot long.

Red Beard and I have always wanted kids--we were just waiting until God gave us the green light. In other words, we couldn't be more thrilled that He has blessed us with this precious gift of life. 

We are moving in less than 2 weeks, so I anticipate being sporadic on here for another few weeks. But I really wanted to share this amazing gift from God with you all!

We are so blessed.

Talk to you soon,
Mrs. D.