The "S" Word

Whatever the reason, and "stupid naked angel babies" aside (thanks, Gilmore Girls), I have some thoughts to share regarding love this week. Today, I'm going to get the big kahuna out of the way. Yes, friends, I want to share a few thoughts about "the 's' word" as it relates to love. These thoughts relate to single people, married people, etc. Here goes:

• Sex is an expression of love, but it is not the sole embodiment of love. Unfortunately, we quite often ruin this expression by using sex in ways that it was never intended to be used. 

• Sex is intended, by God, to be used as an expression of love between a man and his wife. It is not meant to be used outside of marriage, as a drug to help you cope with problems in other areas of your life (such as a dysfunctional relationship with a parent). In marriage, it is not meant to be a bargaining tool, with a wife "lording" it over her husband to get what she wants (or vice-versa). 

• When sex is used the way it was originally intended, it is a beautiful expression of love. When sex is not used the way it was originally intended, it is an ugly expression of a sin (such as pride or idol worship). In the cases above, where sex is used as a drug, it is an expression of idol worship. That kind of use says "sex can heal my hurts" instead of saying "God can heal my hurts." (This is similar to my weight loss story, when I shared the fact that food had become an idol in my life.) In the case of using sex as a bargaining tool, it is an expression of pride. That's saying "what I want is more important than your needs or desires."

• Expressing love through sex, even in marriage, does not replace the need for other expressions of love. Sex does not make up for inadequate expressions of love in other areas of your life. For example, if a man does not work to provide food or shelter for his wife (and family), having sex with his wife does not negate his failure of provision.

• Most importantly, in the case of sex and every other thing that we do, we need to make sure that we are honoring God in our thoughts, words, and actions. We need to examine our motives, our speech, and our physical expressions. They should all be in alignment with God's thoughts, with God's Word, and with God's expressions.

Challenge: Read 1 John 3 and Psalms 86, highlighting verses that stand out to you in these three areas of obedience (thoughts, words, and actions).

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer." (Ps. 19:14)